He has always been here. The holder of information, and of takes he considers hilarious. He digs through the strange stories the room is shouting about and brings up the gems. He reports claims as claims. He mocks power, never grief. You will not meet him. That is the arrangement.

How the stories get here

Machine-assisted research and drafting help find the record. A source and a date belong beside each story. A claim stays a claim; the Gnome’s take is marked as his. Selected finds appear on the front page, with earlier editions in the archive.

Who has the last word

The publisher chooses what appears here and is responsible for corrections. The Gnome is the character who checks, translates, and adds his own opinion. He mocks power, never grief.

The Gnome, the films, and The Room

The Gnome is fictional. His illustrations and films are not documentary evidence. Real stories link to their sources; his commentary is labeled separately.

The Room is the email list for new stories and films. Find the existing channels on the links page.

The Distraction Index archive

The earlier editions included a comparison of strangeness coverage with AI coverage. Those dated readings and their method remain available as an archive. They are not a live reading of today’s news. Read how we check stories and the archived Index method.

Who runs it

Published by William Nykaza d/b/a MasterGnome, 306 Pine Street, Deerfield, Illinois 60015. Rights, corrections, and takedown notices: mastergnome.news@gmail.com, or the rights page.

Questions the room asks

Is this real news? It is a record of real stories and claims, with dates and sources beside them. The Gnome's opinion of those claims is satire and is marked as his. Do you believe any of it? He believes in digging. Why the 2000s look? Because the room grew up there, and the look never winks. The words do. Can I send a tip? Use the contact page and include the source.

Fine print

The word is Paracelsus's, from Liber de Nymphis, Sylphis, Pygmaeis et Salamandris, printed in 1566 after his death: an earth elemental about eighteen inches tall that moves through solid ground the way we move through air. Terracotta gnomes have come out of Grafenroda, Thuringia, since about 1860, and Sir Charles Isham brought the first to England in 1847; one of his, Lampy, is still at Lamport Hall and insured for a million pounds. The word gnomon, the one who knows, is the pointer on a sundial. He is aware of all of this. He would like you to know he was here first.

Dig. Verify. Bring the gem.